We're getting N.A.U.G.H.T.Y.

Chris McGuire, author of Crooks & Nannies: A N.A.U.G.H.T.Y. Beginning.. talked to Louise Ellis-Barrett about what prompted him to settle down and write the book he's had in his mind for many years as well as how he manages to write hilarious stories that appeal to children and include slime...

What prompted you to write a funny and gross book all in one?

When I was a kid, I used to daydream a lot. Too much really. And these days, when I write for children, I try to tap into those daydreams from almost 40 years ago! I write the books I do for the 7 or 8 year old version of me. And that kid loved comedy, everything from people falling over to a very silly pun. This was also the 80’s and 90’s the era of gunge and slime on television, and the 8 year old me thought there was nothing so funny as people getting covered in goo. Today, after talking to my own kids and their friends I discovered these things were still hugely popular… and so Crooks and Nannies: A N.A.U.G.H.T.Y. Beginning…, a funny and gross book for kids was born. 

Can you tell our readers a little about the journey from idea to published book?

I’m still a daydreamer. I spend long periods of time running scenarios through my head, always trying to look at something familiar from a different angle. I love spoonerisms, where the first letter or sound from a well-known two-word phrase is reversed to give a new meaning with an echo of the old. Nooks and Crannies became Crooks and Nannies and the idea of undercover nannies solving crime dropped into my consciousness, almost full formed. That was around 20 years ago. It’s taken a little while to turn the idea into a book. The silliness you’ll read in the book has been living in my head, rent-free for a couple of decades. Finally, while I was working with Candy Jar, the publisher of the book, on another project, I pitched Crooks and Nannies, the rest is banana-flavoured slime history...

How do you create a voice for your story which is both authentic and relatable?

For me, the voice in which you tell a story is so important – often more important than the story itself. I want the narration to be completely straight forward, so the reader doesn’t even the notice any hard work I’m putting in. My voice is at the same level as the reader, not super clever or overly wise, just like the person reading the book, the narrator is enjoying the story as it unfolds. To be honest, I don’t worry too much about sounding authentic, I just allow myself to write the story as if I was telling it to a friend, who loves silliness as much as I do. I have an 8 year old son, who gets bored very easily. I know that if he relates to what I’m saying, there’s a good chance that others will too. I don’t want to use big words or make myself sound impressive, I want to tell a story that makes people smile and want to read more stories. That’s my job.

Telling children not to do something is always certain to ensure the opposite. Do you think the principle works for reading as well?

I don’t know about you, but I’m not very good with being told what to do – even when what I’m being instructed to do is good for me. As I’ve grown older, I’ve got better at following instructions, but I was terrible at doing this when I was a kid. Too often, I feel reading is made to be like eating your greens – something that’s good for you that you just have to grin and bear. I make a big effort when I write to make the experience a fun and entertaining one. I’m not trying to educate anyone, others can worry about that, what I want is to produce fun stuff that’ll work that ‘reading muscle’ and get kids fit to read whatever lands in front of them. So, I do use a lot of reverse psychology when talking about my books, especially Crooks and Nannies. What’s the best way to get anyone to do something? You tell them not to. It seems to be working.

Did you have to create and test much slime to ensure authenticity for the story?

Ah, the slime! Slime runs through Crooks and Nannies: A N.A.U.G.H.T.Y. Beginning… like a very sticky river of goo. In my past life, as children’s TV producer I worked for Nickelodeon. This means I got very familiar with slime… I also understand how much kids love seeing people getting covered in it. Slime is a great equaliser, everyone, no matter how important they think they are looks the same when they’re covered in goo. Yes, I did end up being covered in banana-flavoured memory-erasing slime while creating this book. I would like to say it was a fun experience. It wasn’t. I still feel sticky! Slime will be a big part of the school visits I’m planning in coming months and will be a big component of Crooks and Nannies 2…

You include bold text through the story, can you explain what this is for, what it adds for the reader?

Creating the book, I was very conscious of attracting reluctant readers. This meant making the story easy to read and filled with captivating scenarios. I worked hard with the Candy Jar team to make sure we never present the reader with blocks of dense text. It was all about using illustrations, or interesting text styles, to keep the reader focused. I want readers of my books to feel a real sense of achievement when they finish a chapter or the whole story. We shouldn’t forget that some people find it hard to focus, and they should be helped to turn reading into a pleasure.

How long did it take to create the idea of N.A.U.G.H.T.Y.? Which came first, the name or the abbreviation?

That’s a good question. I’ve always loved movies, usually spy movies, where there are organizations with crazy names. I must admit the name ‘NAUGHTY’ came to me before the meaning of the acronym. That said ‘NANNIES AGAINST UNDERWORLD GANGSTERS HOODLUMS TYRANTS AND YOBS’ simply rolled off my tongue. It seemed to me that these types of criminals would be exactly the crooks that nannies would be against. Personally, I think a good acronym makes everyone smile. We all feel that little bit smarter when the initials work nicely. Personally, I love knowing that NASA is the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I may be alone in that…

Have you ever been lucky enough to meet a gangster fighting granny?

Sadly not. I hope that stories like Crooks and Nannies encourage their readers to never underestimate people. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life is that people have an almost endless ability to surprise you. So, just because someone looks like a harmless nanny, it doesn’t mean they can’t be an undercover agent in deep disguise. That said, most of the nannies in real life are actually nannies and doing that much childcare, day after day, is impressive too.

Do you still love bananas after writing this story?

I think once you’ve been covered (as I have) in memory-erasing banana flavoured slime your relationship with bananas will never be the same. I continue to think that bananas are great, and I encourage my kids to eat them on a regular basis. But, if I’m honest, they’re no longer my favourite fruit. I’ll need to make sure that whatever goo is featured in the Crooks and Nannies sequels doesn’t completely put me off my favourite foods…

Have you ever thought about a career in crime fighting?

As a child I thought about little else – I was totally convinced I would become a superhero, fighting crime. These days I think I’ll leave dealing with actual crime to the professionals. I think the concept of me,

in a cape and mask, leaping around and telling people to pick up the litter they’ve just dropped wouldn’t have the best outcome. Wouldn’t it be brilliant to live in a world where good always wins and bad is always overcome? Thankfully, the Crooks will never succeed in my books.  

Can we expect more N.A.U.G.H.T.Y. adventures to come?

I’m currently writing a sequel, once again filled with naughtiness, slime and terrible jokes. There are too many Crooks and Nannies stories rattling around inside my head, so I’m sure you haven’t heard the last of Dottie Bottie, Gore Rilla and all the rest.

Do you have any words of advice for our readers about how to best avoid crooks and slime?

For anyone who wants to avoid crooks and slime the best route is this. Always try to…

Actually, why am I telling you this? To find out how to avoid crooks and slime, read the book! OK, OK, if you hear a strange buzzing sound, and there’s a drone over your head dripping yellow goo, try and get out of the way! I hope that helps.